ini blog mida

You know why I distance myself with some people. Some just happens, some due to petty things but most of all due to moments...you know that exactly after 25 days of giving birth to my daughter, I lost my dad. During those times it was the hardest for me, dealing with my postpartum and losing my dear dad. I remember those moments and people who are there with me. When I was alone with my baby at home. When I was there at home while my dad being buried. The hardest moment in my life and only few people are there with me. How some people I thought will be there for Syifa and see her growing up is actually doesn't even bother to ask about her. How hard it is for me dealing with everything and the only thing people remember is me not being there for them. I bet they were struggling too during those times. So they can't be there for me. Probably it was the same for them. I should tolerate it. How about feeling excluded? Lahhhh, probably my fault. I don't have courage to drive. I ...

Hai. Aku nak tulis dalam bahasa melayu untuk post ni sebab malas nak tulis English. Aku sebenarnya tak sangka ada orang masih baca blog aku ni. Tapi benda awam ada kat internet kan. Manalah tahu, sekarang zaman Ai. Siapa je baca blog. Aku sendiri da tak baca blog. Entah sampai bila blog ni akan bertahan ek. Sayang betul post aku da bertahun. Aku cuma datang sini menulis balik sebab benda ni buat aku rasa lapang sikit..kalau tak sempit dan bising otak aku ni. Macam biasa lepas intro meleret baru kita masuk topik asal, Pesta Buku Antarabangsa Kuala Lumpur 2026. Tahun ni aku buat keputusan pergi pesta buku minggu kedua dan berjalan solo. Sebab Syifa Amani di fasa meneroka yang susah nak dikawal dalam stroller. Berdasarkan berapa pengalaman juga, stroller tak sesuai di pesta keramaian macam ni. Itupun aku curi masa waktu lunch kerja kat rumah sebab tak boleh nak cuti. Aku seronok ye kali ni sebab aku masuk ikut pintu yang lain dari biasa. Aku dapat jumpa pameran antarabangsa dan jumpa bany...

I won an award today. A recognition at work. It leave me speechless that I was nominated and even so win as Brilliance Team. 2 years in this role, I work alone, endure nagging from senior, dealed with hard people and finally find the right people. All the process it is not easy. I once get the sam award with different team, the same Idoc team and people I work with 4 years. But this one is different. Never thought people would appreciate and even notice my hard work. It's all rezeki. Allah SWT mudahkan semua urusan. The reason why we won this is because we handle more than 400k records. Manually. It's definitely not easy. 1am I still wait data to be load. 10 to 20k each time. With the dateline, with the event at the office. We handled it all. And my manager definitely see that. Thank you for being good manager to us. It is just nothing happened magically. Thank you my partner at work. My manager. My teammate. My husband that always understand when I just grab food or tapao inst...

I should start write again. I have a lot in my notes. My mind never been quite anyway. I just have so many excuses on why I stop writing and posting. When my mind become too loud then I decided to write in my notes. Make my head clear. I just need to find a safe space to do it. -- Come to the tittle, yesterday I tried make a ciabatta. Never once try it but it seems easy so I just try. No harm right? It come out delicious. Best sandwich bread. Better than focaccia. So now in my list I want to try English muffin and bagels. Can't wait. I never thought I can make bread now that I can. I'm impressed on myself. 

Part I : Doa yang Dikabulkan When we got married we decided to plan for our first child. After a year and half we stay with my in law then finally we moved out. That time I have a better pay job, we moved from my in law and rent a house nearby my mom. I have also finally removed my wisdom teeth. So then we finally decided it's time, I stop taking contraceptive pill. Then now become the anxious wait for every late period and pregnancy test. Finally it's Ramadan, time for dua. I Doa sungguh-sungguh Ramadan kali ni supaya Allah SWT perkenan I rasa pengalaman jadi seorang ibu. Few days before raya, I didn't notice that my period is already late by 2 days but it just 2 days so it's normal. A day before I knew I was pregnant, I buka puasa with my colleague. That day I thought I have a migraine and I thought it's sign of menstrual.  So the next day, I feel like buka puasa nasi ayam kunyit, then when it's time for buka puasa the nasi ayam kunyit that used to be so good ...

I wake up today and feeling surreal, I look outside and it's drizzling. Friday morning. I still can't believe that I lost my dearly uncle yesterday. I stop to rant at Twitter but I still feel like so much in my mind that I want to tell. I want to tell the world how good he is and how close we are. I have a lot of uncles, by blood and non. He is related to us but not directly but he is there for the most part of my life than other people. We are really close. My father and him. So much good memories since I was a kid.  I remember when we go back to our hometown, I will ride with him because my car is too small for us 10 people. I still remember when Raya we will go to his house and he will cook nice meal for us. I still remember that one time we went to kenduri and I ride back with him and he bring me jalan-jalan. I still remember he went to work at Australia and then I ask him to buy me some perfume, he come back and bring me Elizabeth Arden perfume, a small koala bear and also...