I Lost My Dearest Uncle

I wake up today and feeling surreal, I look outside and it's drizzling. Friday morning. I still can't believe that I lost my dearly uncle yesterday. I stop to rant at Twitter but I still feel like so much in my mind that I want to tell. I want to tell the world how good he is and how close we are. I have a lot of uncles, by blood and non. He is related to us but not directly but he is there for the most part of my life than other people. We are really close. My father and him. So much good memories since I was a kid. 

I remember when we go back to our hometown, I will ride with him because my car is too small for us 10 people. I still remember when Raya we will go to his house and he will cook nice meal for us. I still remember that one time we went to kenduri and I ride back with him and he bring me jalan-jalan. I still remember he went to work at Australia and then I ask him to buy me some perfume, he come back and bring me Elizabeth Arden perfume, a small koala bear and also chocolate. I remember how I tell him story because he always listen and smile. I still remember the first time I enter UKM, he sent me together with my parents because I brought a lot of things, macam nak pindah rumah. When I think about married, I always think he will be one of my saksi but that only my dream because His plan is better. I don't even know who is my saksi. When I got married last year, that was the last time I ever saw him. 

And yesterday, he already went to different world than the world that we live in now. We were unable to meet him and say goodbye for the last time. It is okay. We went there and it is raining, I want to sob but I can hold it until I hug his wife, I broke to tears. They were so good to us. She said to me "janganlah nangis" hug me and said "ini manja kan "(because I always mengadu to him)... I sob. I can't stand, then my sister said "kenapa kau nangis" then when they hug his wife they also cry because all of us so close to him. 

Before this when all of us in our room and suddenly we listen his voice outside, all of us will get out of the room to greet him. I look at his mom, I look at his wife both look so strong. His mom lost her one and only son. He don't have any children, so people always said that my parents should give one of us to him but it is impossible because we are to close already like his own.

I said goodbye and hug his wife again, I broke to tears again when she said "da takde cik fendi korang".... I lost people who are dearly to me one by one. All the good people. When I read Yassin yesterday, I imagine him smiling on the other side. I believe his in a better place now. I can't stop thinking how we use to meet then to we only meet once in a year, then I remember Covid happened and since then things are not the same anymore. We could have create a lot more memories. It is okay I tell myself, he just move to other world. We will meet him again someday along with all the people we ever lost. Gone but never forgotten.