ini blog mida

It's been a long time. I want to write but I am to lazy to do so. Now, I have time to kill let's pick up where we left of.  After the last post, me counting down 10 days to my wedding day. Alhamdullillah everything went well and better than I expected. Till this day when I wake up and I see my husband beside me I still feel surreal. It's been about 10 months. I live with my in law and it's not as bad or as complicated as people told me. Everything is fine till this day. I have my cat Memey with me. Still not in TTC phase. Go back to my nikah day, we went to have our akad at JAWI. It is just so simple and funny because my husband first two lafaz akad was funny. Yang tau je tau. LOL. Whatever it is, Alhamdulillah SAH. We continue with simple ceremony at my house, just a simple and small wedding but so heart warming to me. My best friends, my favorite people are there, not all but I am thankful and content. The catering food was late and my family is furious but nothing ca

 10-days. FAQ.  Apa perasaan?  Bercampur baur. Gembira, sedih, teruja, takut, bimbang. Seribu satu perasaan yang tak mampu diucap atau dipapar melalui wajah. Overly sensitive also. Luckily I am not crying easily. Try to seize the moment. I want to enjoy myself. Counting the day my status will change. All the responsibility and possibility. Nevertheless, I am so grateful and thankful. I am blessed that the love people show me during this time. I learn to give more. I learn the beautiful of Tawakal. Belajar mengikhlaskan banyak benda terutama masa lalu. Learn how to let go. How to be brave how to be strong. Takkan pernah berhenti berdoa dan megharap. I thought telling my father that I want ti get married is the hardest, well it turn out to be a lot easier than the whole journey. 

 I said it is okay. Let take one step at a time. Give it a try. I can adapt. It is okay. But the truth is, it is scare the hello out of me. I am worry. Will they accept me for who I am? Oh am I gonna be happy? Am I okay? Can I do this and that? What about my cat? Ya Allah. Only He knows. I am really worry. Am I good enough for them? What will they think of me? What if I want to eat something and what if I want to cook? I don't know if I should be worry about this or I overthink things. It is not easy. It never cross my mind for my whole life that I am going through this. It make me afraid of the marriage. I just can hope and pray that everything will be okay. For temporary. For temporary. I will try my best. The most important thing is I hope that my partner will accept me and protect me.