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Showing posts from 2018

MY ARTICLE NOW PUBLISHED!

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May peace be upon you.
It's been a long time. Really a long time. Nanti la aku uruskan masa rajin  untuk menulis. Ada cita-cita nak vlog tapi takde kamera lawa. Jap simpan duit jap. Nanti ada duit aku beli.
So recently, just recently my article just published (yeay). Article ni macam ringkasan kepada thesis kau la. Aku buat thesis pasal Vulnerability of Malaysia Children Towards Online Sexual Grooming atau dalam bahasa Malaysia Kerentanan Kanak-kanak di Malaysia Terhadap Pengantunan Seksual Dalam Talian. Secara ringkasnya, aku kaji pasal sejauh mana kanak-kanak kat Malaysia ni (bawah 18 tahun) vulnerable terhadap sexual grooming online ni. Aku buat soal selidik. Buat bab demi bab. Pergi sekolah kumpul data, buat google form. Bila da kumpul data buat analisis menulis semua lagi. Memang struggle la buat thesis. Malam sebelum hantar thesis tu aku tak tidur. Aku sibuk buat rujukan. Kena track balik semua rujukan, petikan sebab aku tak berapa nak pandai. Patut record awal-awal. Jadi mema…

Eighteen Ten Eighteen

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It's 18th October again. 4 years now. Sayang, thank you for everything. I'm actually glad that you have the courage to DM me on this date last 4 years. From just an acquaintance, to social media friends, to casual talks in Twitter, unmention, DM then to text, WhatsApp and more. Until now. A lot of things has changed. But we still have each other. Sebenarnya tak tahu la bila masa exact jatuh cinta. Tapi sebab 18.10.2014 adalah masa you start DM. We just celebrate that date every year as our special day. Honestly, on the day you gave me your number I'm so excited. I knew that time that I like you a bit. You just need play your card right and you will win me. Which you did. I selalu kagum dengan kesabaran you. Itu yg menawan hati I among all. Time flies. It's already 4 years since that day. Now we're gonna go through another year ahead. I don't know what future holds for us. Macam you kata "biar masa menentukan". Anyway sayang, I will always try my best …

I AM DESPERATE

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I start to miss people. I start to reminisce old memories. I have too much time to watch movie and K-Drama. I sleep most of the day. That means I need a job. I am desperate for a job. I really really hope that I get a job by September. I am not much of person who likes to stay at home for too long. 2 weeks is more than enough for me. I am now lack of motivation guys. I need money also. I am desperate. I really hope and pray something good for me soon. I will try my best. That's all I have to say. I know that before I need time. To plan and think everything. To ask myself what I really want, how I much personal development I want to achieve. But right now the only things that matter is money. I need to work, so I can buy a car by 2019. So I can be independent without being dependent. I realize now how hard it is for someone with degree in Psychology to work in the same of field in Malaysia just with a degree. So I don't mind much if the job offers me experience and good paid if…

Just How?

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Just something random across in my mind. I just wonder how people actually decided they are ready to get married? Just how in the world you guys can be so brave to tell your parents that you guys are actually ready to hold the responsible as a wife/husband? Umur macam ni da jadi kebiasaan bila tengok kawan-kawan atau kenalan kahwin, bertunang. They just decided that they want to get married. While I'm still asking myself when I actually ready to be a good wife or even good mother if Allah wills. It is important decision to make in your life. A decision with who you want to spend the rest of your life with. I want to get married. I want to see my loved ones everyday. I can't be more excited if he decided to marry me one day. I can't wait for the moment. But I also have a doubt? Does you guys ever have a doubt like me before you guys decided to get married? Because obviusly marriage is not just about 'halal' sex. It is about more than that. Well anyway I'm not ge…

Harder

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It is harder than I thought guys. I thought I will be okay, but the first day I already feel so wrong. I started to worry. I don't know guys. I keep questioning myself. At this time I feel like no one understand me. Really. I just need a support. But most important thing I need to convince myself. 
Susah nak mula semula. Bila da umur macam ni rasa macam leceh nak start all over again. Whether it is new place or environment to stay, or new work or friendship or relationship. Sebab tu ada orang stay bertahun-tahun buat kerja yang dia benci, buat kerja yang sama, masih bertahan dengan pasangan walaupun sebenarnya sakit sebab dah selasa dan penat nak mula semula. 
When all the negative thought come and kicking it is really hard. It makes me feel like I want to cry, I want to scream out loud. I don't know. The thought of 'kena cari kerja lain' 'kena pergi interview' 'berapa lama it will take?' ' can I really do it' Days like this make me doubting on my…

I QUIT

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I quit my job. Yes I said it. After 9 months working as temp staff. I decided to quit and not to continue my contract anymore. Not because they don't want to but because I think it's time. It is a hard decision for me. People keep asking me " da dapat kerja lain ke?" "kenapa tak sambung je sampai dapat kerja lain?" I have consider everything before I decided to quit. Please note that it's not easy for me. I love the environment, if I hate it I would quit at the first 3 months. I was promised to be convert as permanent but after 9 months. Nothing in progress. Things still keep in view. My senior manager once tell me to be firm. I see no where I can go anymore. I need to go fast. I need to grow. I need to learn a lot more. I can't sit still any longer. It's easier said than done. 
So, finally I decided to quit. Without any offer yet. But I think I need to quit in order to move. You know one of the quote in Hlovate book said "you need to cut yo…

Stuck

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Guys. Aku ada menulis ke utk 2018 Ni? I don't know if I did. I lost track already. Aku tengah susun hidup aku. Dalam merasa bersyukur dengan apa yang aku ada dan meletakkan keyakinan serta kepercayaan yg tinggi bahawa segala ketentuanNya adalah terbaik buat aku. Aku tak tahu la macam mana nak cakap 2018 aku ni sekarang ni smooth ke apa. But guys, satu benda aku tahu. I have my whole life planned in my mind but I feel stuck. Aku nak buat banyak benda tapi sungguh aku rasa stuck. Aku tak tahu apa yg menanti aku tapi aku sebolehnya tak nak give up. Doakan aku. Aku harap aku kuat dan semuanya bertambah baik. I really wish everything's gonna be okay.

2017

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Best in 2017


1. I graduated with Bachelor in Social Science major in Psychology.  Akhirnya seorang Asmi Asmidar berjaya menamatkan ijazah dengan kepujian setelah tiga tahun. 6 sem tambah 1 sem intern. Selesai semua Alhamdulillah. 30 Oktober 2017, I graduated. 31 Oktober pulang jubah ambil sijil semua. Dapat da sijil degree. Happy nya mission accomplished. Masa grad all people yg matters to me ada. Hadiah bunga yg tak expect dapat haritu sangat bersyukur.
2. Thesis Sexual Grooming Dapat settle kan thesis. Thesis yang nak buat sendiri. Puas hatinya tengok bila da print. Ada kekurangan sana sini. Dapat A- je tak dapat A sebab buat kerja tak semenggah tapi puas hati juga sebab semua buat sendiri. Pergi kutip data semua. Gembiranya rasa. Simpan satu copy untuk diri sendiri kenangan sampai tua. Sebab tak tidur, nangis semua berjaya hasilkan juga sebuah thesis. 
3. Lesen Kereta Asmi Asmidar memiliki lesen kenderaan. HAHA. Setelah tiga kali ujian JPJ baru lulus. Memang da tertulis hilang RM450. Tak…