Aqilah Mohd

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We know each other from Koperasi sekolah. I was living in my own bubble at school until I was from 4. I start to work at school cyber cafe. I'm starting to know people. After we know each other Aqilah told me her first impression to me was "akak blogger sombong". She said once she commented on my blog but I never reply. I told her that I don't even remember her comments on my blog. Must be because at that time I have a lot of comment from people blog walking until I didn't notice her. I am sorry. That just her first impression I believe it changes. Kan Qila? Hehe. 

Everything starts with PKS. Macam-macam benda buat dan lalu sama. Nak tahu tak, I have sisters (younger sister) but I never close with her. These days we don't even talk to each other at all. Like strangers in the same room and house. I don't know how and why we just don't talk to each other anymore. Having Aqilah and friends, also other juniors make me feel like I really have a sister. Aqilah didn't know this that I feel very warm and loved when she introduced me to other people as her sister. Hati bunga-bunga, perut penuh rama-rama rasanya. Aqilah also introduce me to Hlovate. Hlovate made a huge impact on my life. To who I am now. I survived my phase of finding who I am and what is my purpose in life at age 18 because of Hlovate words. Aqilah is one my definition of family is more than just blood. The definition that sometimes strangers feel like family and family feel like a stranger. I survived my alone phase because of them. They made me feel I belonged when I don't think I'm good enough in my own classroom. We eat and sleep together. Most of our time at school we spend together. Whenever something happened they always there for a group hug. I appreciated hugs when I'm with them. How healing it was. I don't mind being a kakak to sisters that I wish I had. Things between Qila and me don't stop at koop. When I continue form 6. She was from 5 students. Then she also continues to form 6. Take all the subjects like me. I was so happy. Then I have two Aqila in my life. Aqila and Aqilah. I think I always attracted to people with the name Aqilah. The love and bonding continue to be strong. Then MPPU, I was Setiausaha Agung. Then she becomes the Timbalan Presiden for the next batch. I never doubt at her capability and leadership skills. I still remember when I get my STPM result Aqilah is the one with me and celebrate. She bought a book for me. I never celebrated my achievement in academics with my family (as far I remember) so I never know how it feels to be appreciated when I achieve something. At least she makes sure I don't feel alone. Funny right because I always on the top when it comes to academic achievement. The only time I think I failed was when my SPM result out and my first UPU result out. Academically speaking maybe I am lucky. It is okay I never blame my parents for not celebrating, I think I just wonder how it feels to be appreciated. Back to my bonding with Aqilah. It doesn't stop there okay, we continue to be in the same Uni, same faculty just different college and cost. Still, I can meet her once a while. I was so happy. She was there when I graduated and I was there when she graduated. We kinda never miss our milestone in life. The life happens but still, I know she will always there to hug me like always. 
When you are the one who always gives. It feels good to be the one who receives sometimes.

Aqilah Mohd, I am always thankful that God made our path cross with each other. Akak always loves your tight hug. No one ever hugs me that tight except you. Hug me until I feel lemas. Good lemas. Lemas with love. Thank you for always listening to my stupid rant since zaman koperasi. Thank you for making me feel like a sister. Did you know that when I think I am alone you come and make me realize "hey akak you are not alone. I'm here to accompany you" you make me realize that it feels good to have accompanied sometimes. Thank you for all the books we shared together. The tears we shared together for the past 10years. Thank you for loving me for who I am. You don't just love me during my bright day but also during my dark days. I always admire how strong you are. I love how cheerful you are and how you can be vulnerable with me and strong in front of others. Qila, remember that I am always here. I am always gonna miss you. Life happens but I am here if life or people ever mistreated you. Thank you Qila for make me feel like a sister. I proudly can say when I'm with you I feel like home. I love you. 

Comments

aqilah mohd said…
through hell and high water,sis?
March 2, 2020 at 11:35 PM
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