ini blog mida

Ini adalah puisi yang aku jumpa semalam. Aku tulis sekitar 2013. Aku hanya nak kongsi itu je. Tiada kena mengena antara yang hidup atau mati. Hanya tulisan rasa yang lalu. aicee *** Saat sakit tak mampu diucap, Perit tak ternampak luka, Pedih, bisa, Pecah juga empangan air mata, Walau kesian kali aku bilang takkan menangis kerana engkau, Akhirnya, pecah tak tertahan. Tak tertanggung. Sebak tak terkata, Hampir hancur punah semua harapan dan rasa, Mana harus aku pergi? Pada siapa perlu aku luah. Teman berpesan, "Nanti sujud lama-lama mengadu pada Dia" Aku dengar Aku buat. Aku teresak, Fikir engkau, fikir semua rasa, masa menghadap Dia. Khusyuk aku entah kemana. Dan selepas doa, aku sujud lama. Mengadu, Esak aku esak, Bagai orang taubat selepas membuat dosa besar, Aku mengadu semua, Aku minta kekuatan dari Dia, Aku jerit dalam hati, Tuhan tolong aku. -- Aku penat, lelah, Akhirkan semua ini cepat, Wahai Tuhan pemilik hati pemegang rasa, Dan ak...

Setelah lama tidak membaca. Akhirnya, berjaya menghabiskan 3 buah buku dalam masa satu minggu. Kuddos dear self. Dan dari situnya, terhasil cerpen dalam entri sebelum entri ni. Seronok rasa dia. So let's make a review.  Garis by Buku Fxi . Limited Edition masa event UNESCO. Buku ni tak beli waktu launch pun. Pakwe belikan kat kedai Buku Fixi. mehehe. Pakwe bagi.  So, haritu masa balik dari UKM ke Gombak. I decided to bring this book along. Selama ni ada la selak-selak gitu. So, masa bawa tu decide nak baca. Serious best. Cerita kedua je da boleh buat nangis. dan cerita seterusnya. sangat deep and sentimental. It feel so close how they relate the art work and the story. Ada a few lagi cerita sangat la menyentuh hati even hanya lukisan dan a few word. Or maybe I'm just sentimental because I love art so much and I can feel so much feeling about it. Because it is limited edition I don't know if you guys still can get it anywhere but I personally love this book. ...

Dari jauh Sarah sudah meyumpah seranah menuju ke meja yang diduduki John. John bukan nama sebenar, mamat ni perasan je nak jadi John Lennon dengan shades bulat dia. Asap rokok berkepul-kepul keluar dari hidung dan mulutnya. John hanya melihat Sarah meletakkan begnya di kerusi yang ada di meja Taman Ilmu tempat mereka selalu melepak, membuat kerja, ambil angin petang dan segala seumpama. Dalam kepala John memang sudah mengagak masalah minah ni. Tak bendera Jepun naik , assignment banyak, lapar atau gaduh dengan pakwe dia. "Kau pahal?" John dengan gaya cool asap masih berkepul keluar dari mulut dan hidungnya. Sarah menghempas buku ada di tangannya di atas meja tersebut "jadah betul ah. Assignment aku banyak nak bagi settle. Stress. Arghhh. Gua nak pergi jauh ah. Serabut" "duduk la dulu. Cite" "Entah la wei" "Entah pula? Perempuan memang macam ni ke?" "Aku perlukan perhatian. Intensive care tahu." "tahpape. T...

I'm being alone, indiependent for too long before. Too long. I've felt so much feeling. I fell and get up by myself. For years, I've waited for real love. To love and be loved. And I lost that feeling... I don't even know how to love. I forget how it feels. I just know the meaning of frustration, waiting,  about things and people , they never stay. All I know is about temporary  feelings. Temporary. I thought I will never love again. But... Then you came. You came. And everything changes. Every thing.

Hye guys! Whaddup! May peace be upon you.  Pernah tak tengok gegadis atau hijabster pakai long skirt dengan smooth, flowy dan sopan sekali? Have you ever think to try at least once to wear skirt? Maybe for formal occasion like dinner, casual wear like going to mall or event or elegant look going to class or a date to impress your boyfriend. We can't denied as a girl or woman we just want to look good. Like Selena Gomez said "look good for you... good for you..uh ah" yeah we are.  I always love long skirt since before.   Long skirt fashion   *click the link to know more* has been rocking since a few years back and woman have pulled together various fashion outfits according to their style. Remember the trend of long skirt? around 2010, ada satu jenis skirt yang colour dia ikut tone like from dark to fair. I have one of that skirt. I also love the old school skirt plain and pattern type. Suprisingly, I still can wear my grandma's and my mom's skirt. ...

Why I want to be educated woman. This is my from my point of view. You may agree to disagree.  Lately banyak keluar isu yang duit hantaran adalah based pada tahap pembelajaran seseorang. Lagi tinggi seorang wanita itu menyambung pelajaran maknanya lagi tinggi wang hantaran. Sejak bila ada ketetapan macam ni? Siapa create benda ni? Kita? Society?atau it just a norm. Kita melakukan tu in order untuk dapatkan sokongan atau dipandang tinggi oleh masyarakat? Apa yang kita dapat? Did it makes us happy? ataupun kita tak pernah bebas untuk membuat keputusan yang betul walaupun melawan arus trend yang ada? Remember, what is right always right even you are the only one doing that and what is wrong still wrong even everyone doing it.  Bagi aku la, sejujurnya aku belajar bukan semata nak hantaran tinggi. In fact, masa nak sambung belajar tak pernah terfikir. "Makin tinggi aku belajar makin tinggi hantaran" Seriously, ada sesiapa fikir macam tu ke masa nak sambung belajar? Belajar su...

I've once told myself. "Can I just sleep and never wake up to see this world again?" You know what's that means? It means I'm depressed. Yes I am. But do anyone know about this? None. Do you ever ask about this? Nope. Do anyone really care to ask me if I'm okay? No. Ask yourself do you care enough about what happen in my life? Or you just need accompany? Do you really need a friend? Wait. What's friend mean actually? think again. What do I feel? Am I stupid enough to just let all the things slipped away? That I never think about what happened around at all? Can I say HA HA but I don't actually laugh. I've talked to most depressed person I my class. Because we have something in common we are depressed. I don't know what is actually happened in his life. But I know mine (maybe) or I just lost. I know that I'm tired.  Penat nak penuhi expectation orang. What is this? Why people put too much expectation on me? Why people? Don't you just ge...

Just for once. Will you ever let me go? Have you ever feel afraid of losing me? What if one day I'm no longer here. What if I'm gone forever. This is not a post to seek an attention. It a questions. The questions I always wonder. Sometimes, even people who always be there, the one you thought will never leave you. Leave. Because you take them for granted.Because at some point, they will get tired. They will giving up because fighting alone in a battlefield is not that easy. I might kill 100 people in the battle yet I might died being killed by 1 person because I'm tired. I've tried the best yet I'm not that strong. And I'm lose. I'm not asking too much. I will always be there. I will give everything you need. Is that not enough? If you don't want to lose anyone just one thing you got to do. Appreciate them. Don't ever take someone for granted.  -- Yeah blog da updated! Holla stalker! haha Happy?

It just frustrated that I have too many word in my mind but I can't let them out. I have a lot things to say about my feelings but I'm afraid it will hurt people I loved. Sometimes I wish I am strong enough to let things out but I am not. I was hurt. I feel lost. I feel empty. I feel hopeless, helpless and I think I don't deserve what I have now. Only once I want people to say that they need me, I want them to say that my presence matters and I mean something. Once. That feeling  I will never be good enough for anyone actually devastating. I want to be someone important. At least in your life. And I have this question stuck in mind. If I'm no longer here. Will someone miss me? will they? will he? will she? will you?

"...This is my love letter for you, I still remember the first time I ever saw you laugh. You look so happy that time. I tengok dari belakang. Yes. I still remember that moment. I boleh recall lagi the time I nampak you tunggu I kat lrt masa first date kita. Dan I masih rasa selesa untuk berbual dan bercerita dengan you sama dari first date kita sampai sekarang. I masih ingat juga betapa susahnya I nak terima some part of you. Your life ans everything. But eventually, your flaws make me love you more and more everyday. I love the way you laugh out loud. I love the way you eat. I love the way you talk about dota. I love the way you explain something to me. I still remember the terms NKVE. Yes I love everything about you. It comforts me in a lot of way. I ingat lagi our first movie ever, Hunger Games. And you makan nasi ayam. Dan masa tu la kita ada first pic together. I love when you take my picture. Candid. Seriously. Selalu bila balik date and you send all those candid p...

I'm that kind of girl who will wait for you doesn't matter how long  if you ask me to. I'm that kind of girl who will stay no matter how worst the situation if you want me to. I'm that kind of girl who love someone with the whole heart. I'm that kind of girl who want nothing from you except for you to be happy and smile. I'm that kind of girl who will stand by your side through thick or thin. I'm that kind of girl who need nothing less but love. I'm that kind of girl who love too much, give too much and I  don't care how much it hurts as long as you are happy. I'm that kind of girl who never be good enough or perfect partner. But I'm that kind of girl. And I am your girl.

I might not show how miserable am I. Semalam mimpi. Dihujung cerita. Mida jumpa arwah opah. Tengah baca alquran. Mida baring kat riba opah. And my tear burst. From dream to reality. I wish arwah opah still here. Mida rindu opah. Al-Fatihah.

Nothing else matter other than your happiness. I need to see your smile and laugh again. I'm sorry. Forgive me?

What if you never get the chance to tell someone that you really love them and you care about them? What if you never get the chance to see someone you love ever again? What if someone you always trust betray you? What if you lost someone you love in order to achieve something? What if everything just not the way you hope it would be? And What if I died will someone remember me and miss me?

Tell me honestly would you still love me the same? If I showed my flaws. If I couldn't be strong. Tell me honestly would you still love me the same? Dalam hidup ini, ketika manusia hadir dan pergi apa yang kau benar perlu ialah mereka dan dia yang menerima kau seadanya. walau bagaimana buruk keadaan kau. kurangnya kau. kau hanya mahu mereka yang tetap berada di sisi dan menyokong. Mereka yang mampu menerima kau luar dalam. kecelaan dan segala ketidaksempurnaan disamping segala kelebihan yang kau mampu perlihatkan dan aib yang disembunyi rapi. Ada masa kita berada di atas. yang waktunya segala kebahagiaan adalah milik kita. dan ada masanya, kita berada di bawah dan kekurangan terlihat jelas. Di waktu itulah saat kau melihat keliling melihat siapa yang masih mahu berdiri disisi dan menyayangi.  Ada masa kau terlalu memberi. sehingga terlalu kecewa. bukan kerana tak dihargai. tapi tak pernah disedari. ada masa kau terlalu menjaga hati orang lain sehingga hati sendiri ka...

Seyogia by Amal Hamsan terbitan Lejen Press. Buku pinjam kat partner. Buku kedua Amal Hamsan aku baca lepas buku HEROIN. seriously Heroin one of my favourite. Tapi aku bagi pinjam buku tu dan buku tu hilang. Aku tak tahula siapa pinjam tak reti pulang. Mahu mengamuk juga aku. Rupanya ini perasan orang hilang buku kesayangan sebab orang pinjam. Rasa serik nak bagi orang pinjam pun ada. Aku ni jenis buku kalau hodoh ke apa aku terima lagi. Kalau hilang terus langsung tak berkhabar dan semua kata tak tahu memang rasa nak mengamuk juga la. Heroin was great. It makes me cry. Then partner recommend Seyogia. He said this is great. So masa start cuti sem haritu dia bagi pinjam. Lama juga la tangguh baca. Buku tak tebal pun. So sekejap je dah habis. Masa baca tu aku tengah dalam fasa kemurungan yang semua benda tak kena. This book I read before 7 Tahun 7 Hari. Boleh tahan la dia punya rabak. Nak cari semangat ni. Tapi aku jatuh tempat paling kosong seorang aku. Amal Hamsan is a g...

Another book review. GANTUNG by Nadia Khan terbitan BUKU FIXI. Tak ingat beli kat mana. Mula-mula masa baca macam tak faham tau cerita apa sebenarnya. Makin lama makin menarik makin lama rasa ingin tahu makin dalam. Mati-mati aku ingat cerita hantu menakutkan punya. Da la malam yang part menakutkan tu aku kat dalam bilik single tingkat enam kat kolej. Yes aku sorang. Esoknya masa sambung baca dalam bas dalam perjalanan ke Kuala Lipis Pahang things getting interesting. Sikit je la baca dalam bas. Part lain dalam bas banyaknya aku tidur je sambil sumbat earphone dalam telinga, tutup muka dengan sweater. Heaven betul bila duduk tepi tingkap dan duduk sorang dalam bas. Aku da baca dua buku Nadia Khan. Pertama KELABU back then masa form 6 kedua yang ini. Seriously she is a good writer. She's really good at plot twist and LGBT issues. Tak banyak tapi ada kan. Klimaks power. Peleraian power. Memang seharian masa kem time tak buat apa aku duk hadap buku je. Pagi sampai p...

Holla guys! Sekarang ni tengah nak pupuk semangat menulis balik ni. Ada juga tengok balik entry entry lama yang ada yang bernas ada yang tidak. But mostly, post yang berkurun 2010, 2011 masa zaman belum cukup akal tu da banyak di draft. Tak nak la nanti anak-anak tengok perkara mak dia buat masa muda-muda. Hihi Kalau membanggakan takpela. Kalau tulis pun awuck sayunk sayer. Baik draft jela. At least draft boleh la tengok balik. Kalau delete tak dapat imbas langsung da. Ini da install apss blogger dalam phone. Boleh la draft bila masa nak tulis. Balik check kat lappy dan post. Okay  habis mukadimah kita masuk isi. 7 Tahun 7 Hari by Diana Nuzuin Beli dengan BB1M haritu kat MPH Wangsa Maju sekali dengan buku Reclaim Your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed tapi Reclaim Your Heart tak baca lagi. Masa baca 7 Tahun 7 Hari honestly I'm in the wreck phase of the month. Masa tu emosi dan jiwa paling rapuh. Da lama da sebenarnya baca 7Tahun 7 Hari ni tapi tak pernah bersungguh. Itu yg lambat...

Assalamualaikum dan selamat sejahtera! Holla guys! I miss writing so much. Nak skema ke nak brutal ni? Tak nak ah skema bosan. Jadi 11 ogos keputusan UPU atau kemasukan ke universiti. Peringkat ijazah bagi STPM/Matrikulasi/Asasi/Diploma dan setaraf. Bagi yang telah mendapat tempat. Tahniah saya ucapkan. Bagi yang tidak mendapat tempat cuba untuk buat rayuan. *I might write a few tips for this. Bare with me. Jadi banyak perkara akan jadi tanda tanya masa nak masuk universiti ni. Rasa ingin tahu yg sangat tinggi. Well its a new phase. A new place. Mesti kita rasa excited, nervous, a lot of expectation we will think and put in our mind. Mungkin apa yg saya akan kongsikan ini mambu membantu anda terutama buat pelajar tahun satu sesi 2015/2016 di Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia dan Kolej Keris Mas, UKM, Bangi. Ini hanya perkongsian pengalaman. At least akan kurangkan rasa risau atau membantu anda. 1. Minggu orientasi Kalau kat UKM kami panggil Minggu Mesra Mahasiswa yg akan berlangs...

Here few things I did that I would like to share with you guys. This is degree life as psychology student ahaa. Ini video-video perasan seorang Mida. Suprising to see how much I grown up as teen blogger to young adult? ahaa. Yaa. Lihat la seorang Mida semakin gemuk dan cantik. Huarghhh. Dan ini semua video sepanjang sem 2 ni ! Untuk melihat lebih lagi bagaimana saya menjadikan diri sendiri sebagai bahan jenaka boleh ke channel youtube saya. click subscribe. *retis*