ini blog mida

I am learning to accept things. I am taking my time to sort things out especially things that linger in my mind. There are so many things that make me wake up in the middle of the night and torture me. Also, the things that make me hard to sleep. I am trying to accept that there are things that we can't control. We just need to face it with courage. I cried so much lately. I burst out in front of people easily. I wanted to heal. I wanted to be happy. But I need time. To accept things, I have heard these 3 tips from someone who lost people that she loved dearly. 1. Sabar. Whatever it is. Sabar. Indeed Sabr is beautiful. It is easier to said than done. Sabr is a very easy and simple word but very hard to do. To be patient with whatever comes. The good and the bad. The unexpected. To be sabar with whatever Allah SWT plans for you even it is not what you wanted. 2. Redha Redha is accepting. This one is harder than sabar. Because you need to learn to accept things. To a...

Setiap yang hidup akan merasai mati. Belakangan ini terlalu banyak berita kematian yang mengejut. Mati itu pasti tidak bersyarat sakit atau tua. Sampai waktunya sesaat takkan lambat atau cepat. Ianya tak menunggu sesiapa. Death of people makes us reflect a lot especially the one we never expected. How short our life is. Yesterday we might be enjoying our life with our loved ones without knowing that tomorrow they not gonna be with us anymore. I give a lot of thought about this. Thinking about how you end in this temporary world? I always pray for khusnul hatimah but am I working towards it? What is the deed that can save me? Whenever we feel tired of this world and thinking of death might the end of all this. Hold back and think again. Have we done enough in this world? Death surely is not the end for the believers. Bila melihatkan kematian yang baik seharusnya menjadi pengarajaran buat kita. Adakah kita sudah cukup bersedia untuk menghadapi kematian yang datang pada bila-bila m...

5 tahun lepas aku ada review buku 7 Tahun 7 Hari oleh Diana Nuzuin. Lepas 5 tahun DN terbitkan buku baharu LIAR. Aku tak tunggu da, malam dia release aku terus beli. Keesokan hari selepas buku sampai aku terus baca. Bila start baca perasaan aku mula bercampur-baur. DN berjaya tulis setiap perasaan aku yang tak terluah dengan baik. Aku tak tahu macam mana but somehow aku rasa relatable? Aku bukan rasa aku faham tapi aku suddenly rasa difahami? Setiap tulisan entah macam mana membuka luka-luka lama. Bila habis satu chapter aku termenung. Aku terimbau benda lalu lepastu aku tanya kenapa sama rasa ni. Kenapa aku ada rasa ni. Kenapa kau rasa nak tulis juga. Overall look, kemas dan cantik. Cover dan penanda buku sangat cantik. Aku lebih suka kertas recycle berwarna coklat kerana rupa dan baunya tapi aku rasa kosnya pasti lebih mahal. Ini pun sudah cukup baik. DN ada buat satu playlist kat Spotify untuk dibaca dengan buku ni. Aku rasa sesuai semua lagu dalam playlist tu. Entah kenapa...

you forget how to love me didn't you? Do you feel out of love? Let me ask you when and why? you forget how you fall for me. your forget who will be there for you. you forget who's been loyal to you. you forget who will give up everything for you. you forget someone that love you so much. you forget your promises to her. You forget the plans you made with her. you forget you once miss her. you forget how much she look beautiful in your eyes. You forget the smile on her face. you forget how she will tolerate with your silence. you forget. you forget that you use to ask if she is okay. you forget how hard for her to open her heart for you. you forget that no matter how strong she is. she still need someone. you forget how far we come. you forget about us. you forget that she will never forget.

I don't know why this video relates to me so much. Lately, I hurt so much by people's words. People that I loved and I trust. Too many broken promises. I always keep quiet, but when I can't hold it anymore I burst out into tears. Sometimes I just can't let it out because I am afraid what I am about to say will hurt other people but I am the one who hurts. I just hope to heal.  "My dear, I pray you heal from words that hurt. I pray you heal through God's word. But most of all, I pray you heal from things no one ever apologised for. AA"

declutter  / diːˈklʌtə /:  remove unnecessary items from (an untidy or overcrowded place). Last weekend, I just did some decluttering. Actually, it has been quite some time since I decided to do some decluttering. I take it slow but eventually, things start to pile up but it doesn't really feel good. Last year I bought a chest drawer. I tried to reduce the things I have. I have unused books ready to be donated, clothes, shawls, bags, accessories to give it away but I don't know days after days, weeks after weeks things staying there and not moving. So last weekend I decided I'm gonna get rid of these things. I just knew that we can donate our books to the public library. They will reselect the books and if the books can't be put on the library shelf they will give to NGO. This is really good for people like me. I still have my own collection. The book that I really love and still not ready to let go. I put it in the boxes since I don't have a bookshelf to pu...

I want to tell you the good news. Now suddenly I have posted two blog posts during the time trying to heal. I feel better actually posting it here than spilling out Twitter but look like you just need attention. I don't want to be that kind of girl. This is my goal now I want to try to post a blog post every Monday. Why Monday? Monday always associated with Monday blues, a gloomy day to start a week after weekend. But for me, I will always look forward to Monday because it means a new start for the week. I will reset everything and try to be better from last week. I will try okay. I don't mind if anyone wants to read it or no. Just bear with me okay.

I hate being sad. okay. just to be clear feeling sad is okay. Maybe I hate having a breakdown. Mental and emotional breakdown. Which when something triggers you and the negative thought comes to creep in. Honestly, it needs just one incident. Enough for someone who starts to heal to feel the pain again. It is easier to put a hole in someone's heart when you're not the one who tried to cover the heal. I try so hard. I swear. The thought everyone else is better without you, the moment you start to wish for something bad happened to you so people will appreciate you, the point everything you do start to lose the soul and the mindfulness. Like a body without a soul.When you start to distract yourself but it is not good enough. People asking if you are fine but you don't know what to say. People want to show they care and being helpful but you don't know if help is what you need. I swear it hurts. Everything even the smallest thing is disappointing. you take a part of m...

I am thinking about this. If I don't have to buy cats supplies every month I might have 10 Converse. if I don't have to help my parents financially I might already get gelang emas or rantai emas by now. if I don't be a considerate girlfriend and ask my boyfriend to pay everything every time we go out I might be able to get the EDP I always wanted. If I don't do savings for the future I might have my own car by now. Also if I don't need to take care of my own toiletries, skincare, I might already change my phone every year to the latest model or if I don't have any financial commitment I might have my own home already? Does it sound overboard already? lol. maybe not a home maybe I might be able to go Umrah or go travel to the place I want. I just want to emphasize that everyone has a different financial commitment. If you can't be more helpful be more understanding. I always trust that our rezeki comes from Him. If it never meant for you it will ...